The Thrill of the Hunt
Dear Maribeth,
I approach girls all the time and date often, but when I find one I really care about and then it doesn’t work out, I have trouble starting over again trying to meet someone new. This cycle seems to keep repeating itself and I want to know how to stop it. I recently broke up with someone and I don’t want to not meet someone for another 6 months to a year. I just don’t seem to approach anyone anymore and wish I could just skip the small talk phase of getting to know someone. I’m not afraid or shy and it’s not that I’m not over the person but this seems to keep happening. How do I break this cycle and get back to myself blatantly approaching women to meet them?
Ready to Break the Cycle
Dear Ready (to Be Committed),
For you we have the King of Swords, the 4 of Cups and the 5 of Pentacles. When you scan your eyes across these three cards the energy seems to slowly dwindle downward. I can see how you are feeling discouraged. From the top of the King’s sword and his upright posture to the unsure looking chap with his arms crossed to the hunched over and injured folks trudging through the snow, it is apparent you run out of steam in your efforts. Let’s break it down one at a time and see if we can discern some words of wisdom.
The King of Swords is a confident man who uses his sword to make things happen, he cuts to the chase as they say in the movie business. This is what you described as “blatantly approaching women”. At certain times, you are very action-oriented and take charge, this is the feeling you are trying to retain.
The Four of Cups in the center shows someone who is not sure if he wants what is being offered to him. It appears when starting the hunt again, you may be looking for what you had and this could limit your possibilities. You need to clear the slate, and meet individuals based on their own worth and not compare them to what you had before. This may take a little time. In order to make a fresh start in your search, you must recognize each girl as having potential and then eliminate the ones that aren’t for you, rather than trying to pick one who you think will suit you by appearance or first impression. Perhaps if you take some pressure off yourself in looking for a mate, and just try to meet people in general, it will become easier.
The 5 of Pentacles shows that it is not always easy to motivate yourself to get out there. Sometimes you just might not feel like it. Give yourself some time to heal and be with your friends. But don’t feel sorry for yourself. Just keep your eyes open and your smile on and maybe the right girl will come up to you and say, “How are you doing tonig
