How Many Points for Cornbread?
Should she remarry her ex?
Dear Maribeth,
I was divorced last fall. My ex-husband and I were separated for almost two years before the divorce. We still love each other. We e-mail each other a few times each week. We are going to the movies together for the 2nd time tomorrow evening, I asked him if he wanted to go with me because I have some free movie tickets. He also has made my elderly mother corn bread a few times and brought it over to her and I also have picked it up at his apartment. I was the one who got the divorce because after almost two years of being separated, he still didn’t want to talk about working out our problems, he just wouldn’t talk at all about the subject. I would like to ask him if he would consider getting back together again with me, remarrying. I don’t know how to go about doing this. I wanted to ask if this would be a good idea and how to go about it.
Thanks,
D
Dear D,
Your reading gave us the Knight of Pentacles, The Devil and the Page of Wands. The Devil is the predominant card here because it is a major arcana card and it is positioned in the center of your reading. The Devil is about letting go of attachments.
Attachments originate in the mind with thoughts of what you need. During the course of life, we decide what we need as a part of creating our own identity. As we grow and change, our needs will too. Identifying self-defeating patterns is the first step toward letting go of them. The Devil reminds us that we are making choices. He reminds us to look at our situation and recognize habits, people and ideas that we, at some point in our lives, selected to be a part of who we are. The chains that are around the necks of the people on the card can easily be lifted over their heads and removed if they choose to do so. But the image of the devil, representing our bondage to those mental and emotional issues that hold us prisoner, can sometimes appear too powerful to stir. It can be easy to find comfort in the familiar, even if it is no longer in our best interest.
You have already been through the difficult experience of letting go of your marriage. The Knight of Pentacles appears to be your ex-husband when you were married and he was not very active in working on your problems. He is just sitting there on his horse, offering you what he can but not willing to really participate in improving things. He seems to be saying, “This is me, take it or leave it.” You left it. He’s still sitting there.
Now on the other side of the Devil, we have the Page of Wands. This is a person with a youthful and positive attitude who has their eye on the top of that wand showing a desire to achieve more. This sounds like you, with the red feather in your cap, and a positive outlook, feeling that your marriage could be successful this time if you just put the right effort in.
Why are you willing to accept your husband now when less than a year ago, you gave up? Are you willing to tolerate more now? Why? Please spend some time thinking about why.
I suggest you take your time before you talk about remarrying. Don’t do it out of habit or convenience, do it because you both want to grow.