Woman of an Uncertain Age
Dear Maribeth,
My sister is going through a divorce after being married for a little over 20 years. She has two boys, 17 and 22. She is very sad and is troubled thinking about her future. Not only does she have empty-nester feelings, but being 40 years old is unsure about her prospects for a new relationship. How can I help her?
Signed,
In Her Shoes
Dear IHS,
It is always difficult to watch those we love deal with hard times. Your devotion and care for your sister is very helpful in itself, I’m sure. Let’s see what advice the cards have to offer.
The 4 of Pentacles, the Devil and the 9 of Wands appeared for you. This does not look like an easy situation. These cards all have one thing in common – a connection to the past. The first message I am getting from them is that before you can help your sister with her future, you must help her let go of the past. Coming to terms with what she no longer needs in her life is her current challenge.
The first card in this spread is the 4 of Pentacles. The pentacles are the suit of material security and four is the number of order and structure. The buildings in the background can implicate real estate. When people experience many dramatic changes in their lives, it can be difficult to know what to hold on to. Sometimes people want to change every single thing so nothing is the same and they start with a completely new slate. Other times they hold on to as much as they can to keep some form of what they consider normalcy. In between these two extremes is a comfortable place for your sister. You can help her by being objective about what she should keep and what no longer suits her new life.
Feng Shui, the art of placement, preaches the importance of eliminating anything in your home that brings up bad or sad memories. The Devil shows attachments to behaviors and items that bring us down. While it may seem obvious to you that your sister should let go of things, you may have to bring it to her attention. Old habits die hard. Help her make choices that can lead to her happiness, rather than following a familiar routine. You can help her free her neck from those chains that bind her by throwing stuff out that reminds her of her ex. Looking for a transforming evening? Build a fire in your chiminea and throw some old photos in. Create space for her to talk about her feelings. Listen. Watch the fire.
The figure in the 9 of Wands is a weary person. As you can see by the wands in the background, she has been through quite a bit. Your sister is not ready yet for another relationship. Once she lets go of the past, she’ll need some time to stop and look around before she marches onward. That is the moment captured in this card. It begs the question, “Where do I go from here?”. That is a decision that she will make on her own, with you waiting in the wings when she is ready.
Your availability and concern is a wonderful gift to her. If I had a sister, I would want her to be just like you. You’ll know the right thing to do, and you’ll do it.