Talking Dirty
Dear Maribeth,
My boyfriend’s college roommate is really disgusting. He’s dirty and doesn’t shower. He eats soooo much and leaves food everywhere. He smells. All he does is sit at his computer all day and play games. It’s really disgusting and annoying. What should I do?
Disgusted at URI
Dear Disgusted,
Eeeww. You poor thing. I have no idea how to fix that. Let’s tune in to the cards for some advice!
You got the Emperor, the 10 of Pentacles and the High Priestess. The major arcana cards prove this is a bigger problem than it may seem. The kid has issues. You have to wonder why his parents didn’t teach him good hygiene habits. Personal self-care is basic and should start at home when we are young.
The Emperor shows a father figure. Someone who is looked up to for advice and who sets the rules. I don’t know if this was missing in the kid’s life growing up, but perhaps it is not too late to start now. If he doesn’t notice on his own that he is different than the others in the dorm and probably shunned because of his own stench, then maybe he needs to be told directly. The Emperor doesn’t tip-toe around issues. He wears those metal boots for a reason, he is determined to get his point across or he’ll give you a good swift kick to make sure you get it. Your boyfriend may have to let his roommate know that the odor is overpowering the room and he needs to acquire some good habits.
Perhaps the reasons and benefits of clean living need to be brought to his attention too. The 10 of Pentacles is a cluttered card. He probably grew up in a messy house, so he’s comfortable with that, even if he may not like it. I hope for his sake and yours he sees and smells the difference between you and your boyfriend and him. But I get the feeling he is oblivious to his behavior. When I look at the old man’s outfit in this card, I see there is a very busy pattern going on there. I’m imagining it could be food stains and general grunge left from continuing to wear the same dirty shirt day after day.
The High Priestess comes in with very feminine and creative ideas. As I look at this card in your reading I notice the black and white pillars on each side, with the curtain draped behind her. If he doesn’t clean up his act, you may have to take action. I would suggest you hang a curtain to separate the two sides of the room as the pillars represent here. Two opposite experiences going on within the same space. Light incense, use room spray and keep on your boyfriend’s side. Your gentle nudging can be non-confrontational which will still leave the opportunity open for him to practice common clean hygiene habits when he is ready. And remember, very soon you will both have a choice with whom you live! Thanks for writing!