Eliminate The Middle Man
Dear Maribeth,
There is a couple that I know and the male is one of my best friends. His wife I could take or leave. But my wife does not like his wife at all. So I know when I go out in a social situation with the two of them my wife is going to be very upset with me. However, if I tell my friend some lame excuse he won’t be happy. The inconvenience of telling a lie is less than that of saying the truth. Is this the appropriate way to handle the situation without jeopardizing the relationship? Or is it better to be honest with my friend and tell him the truth?
Malcolm in the Middle
Dear MiM,
Your cards are the 2 of Wands, the 3 of Pentacles and the 9 of Pentacles. Looking at these cards together, I am reminded of the expression, “You can’t please all of the people all of the time.” I see you are indeed in the middle of this tarot spread - there on the bench trying to get the two people to agree on a plan.
Twos in tarot are always about choices. The way the man in the two of wands is looking at the globe shows you have a choice of where you want to go. When your friend invites you somewhere, you need to consider if it is something you would like to do. It seems that each individual opportunity may require a different response from you. They should be dependent on how important it is for you to participate. Some events will be worth your wife tolerating someone she doesn’t like, and some will not. If you want to go, you should go.
The Three of Pentacles indicates that you and your friend work well together, in addition to having a friendship. It is always beneficial to spend time with people whom you can learn from and share knowledge. You may want to consider spending more time with your friend working on special projects that don’t include your spouses. This will give you time with him without inconveniencing your wife.
The 9 of Pentacles in the third position of your spread answers your question of whether you should come clean with your friend. When I look at this card, I feel that it is up to your wife to express her feelings, if she decides it is appropriate. It is not your place to share her opinions with others. It doesn’t seem helpful for you to do that, unless you want to remain in the middle. This card looks as though she would rather be alone, than with your friend’s wife, and that choice is really out of your hands. Accepting the responsibility of how she feels is what is putting you in the middle.
You are the middle link in this situation because both of these people are important to you. It is difficult, if not impossible, to please everyone around you. In order to get out of the middle, you must be honest with everyone about how you feel, but not try to share how anyone else feels. That is up to them.