Good Grades = Good Graces
Dear Maribeth,
My son is going into his senior year of high school and has an opportunity for a sports scholarship at several colleges, BUT he is not motivated to work as hard as I think he should academically. His junior year was just so-so, 2.6 GPA. Columbia University came to his school and was impressed with his baseball pitching. They then asked about his GPA and immediately said thank you but no thanks and moved on to the next name on their list. I feel, and hope, that it was a huge wake up call for him to “push” himself to do better his senior year, but already I don’t see him doing his summer readings as he should. I feel if this doesn’t motivate him, nothing will. So the question is, should I get on his back every minute of every day to ensure he does his best or do I wait to see if he heard the wake up call?
Signed,
Big Bad Dad
Dear BBD,
“If I knew then what I know now…” Remember your father trying to tell you stuff that he learned the hard way? It is so hard to witness your children make mistakes, especially when they could have been avoided by listening to their parents.
Your cards are the Hermit, the 7 of Pentacles and the Emperor. I see you reflected as the older man in both the Hermit and the Emperor cards, while your son is the younger man in the 7 of Pentacles. Each of these figures has a stick in his hands that could be viewed as a representation of a baseball bat. With you on each side of him, we see you have a lot of power to influence him.
The Hermit exudes wisdom gained through inner understanding. Originally your son viewed your opinions as not really applying to him. One of the messages the Hermit brings is that all life experiences take place within us and all help us to grow. The way the Hermit is facing the left toward the past indicates that your son probably listened to your words of advice but felt they were based on your own past experiences. This card has a white background without much life or activity associated with it. It was difficult for your son to adopt your attitude because it wasn’t very real to him, unlike his own colorful reality of his life as he sees it now.
The 7 of Pentacles shows him focusing on his accomplishments and the things that bring him reward. Those pentacles in the pile seem to represent the results he gets while on the baseball field. The hoe he is leaning on could be a baseball bat and the pentacles the baseballs. He cares more about those things that bring immediate reward: his experiences on the field. The one pentacle at his feet is good news. It shows he is now taking stock and thinking about what else he wants to bring into the mix. With the Emperor out in front it seems your advice is now making more sense to him and he is seeing that he needs a balance of positive activities in his life to lead a rewarding life.
The heavy metal boots the Emperor is wearing imply that you do have to get tough with him in order for him to make the right decisions. The stone throne is unmovable and unshakeable and because you know what is right for him, you will stay firm. He respects you and will not want to let you down. You also have in your hands a rendition of a bat and ball and perhaps can get his attention by helping him with his baseball career when he meets your expectations academically. It is nice to have a motivator that you know he cares very much about and will work toward. It is much harder to discipline a child who isn’t inspired.
The best teacher is experience and as your son gains more he will make the right decisions. Do your best to expose him to experiences that will help shape him into the college student you anticipate. Stay in his face and let him know you want the best for him. Your caring ways will benefit both of you. As his confidence and abilities increase, so will his GPA!