Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!
Dear Maribeth,
I work in an office with about 10 other women, some of whom I like more than others. To celebrate the holiday, we do a “Secret Santa” and pick a name for a person that we buy a gift for. Since I am friends with some people I work with, I’d like to buy them presents too. It annoys me that if I pick a name of someone I don’t really care for, I have to buy them a present. Is there a better way?
Giving with a Grimace
Dear Gwig,
Office relationships are often awkward because we don’t choose to be with the people we work with, we just kind of get thrown into a room with them every day of our lives! Your cards are giving me a great window into your situation, though. You got the Queen of Cups, the Hermit and the 4 of Cups. I can see clearly now that there is indeed a better way!
The Queen of Cups shows a lovely lady admiring an ornate chalice. You can tell by the way she is holding and stroking it that she loves it dearly. Her smile and intent gaze upon the golden cup expresses pride in it as well. This tells me that you take your gift giving very seriously. You take the time to choose a present that you feel will be meaningful to the recipient. This is why it bothers you to purchase something for someone that you don’t have particularly care for. If you just picked up “any old thing” it would be easy, but it’s the act of selecting the present that you are having a hard time with.
The Hermit is holding a lantern that has a glowing star within it. That star represents what the holidays mean to you. You consider it a sacred time where we can express our true shining selves. When you are cajoled into buying a present in a manner that is meant to be politically correct, it makes you feel like you are not being true to your belief in what giving is all about. You are trying to hold that perfect holiday out away from your body while you trudge on and do what is expected of you.
As soon as I looked at the 4 of Cups, I saw the answer for you. I’m not sure of the name of the game, but it is another method of gifting that may feel better to you. From what I can remember everyone in the group buys a present within a certain price range ($10-$12 for example). All the gifts go into a pile without names on them. Then, each person gets a number and everyone picks a wrapped package in order by number. You open the package and then have the option to keep your gift or take a gift from anyone else who has already opened one. That is exactly the expression I see on the guy under the tree’s face! Should I take this gift or grab on of those??!! I feel purchasing a generic gift that anyone might like for this game would satisfy your generous nature without pressure.
This minor adjustment in your holiday party could really put an end to your frustration, and may even turn out to be fun! Let me know how it goes!